Love... to hate

I am having a hate day today. One of my best friends commented to me a couple of weeks ago how much she loves reading my blog because I keep it real. Well this post is going to be really real. I am having a hate day today. Not dislike. A pure, seeing red hate. I hate that I am going to have to get a crappy job just to pay the bills. I hate that I am going to put my kids into daycare while Kathy is on maternity leave because the plans I made won't work at a new job. I hate that I'm going to have to stop breastfeeding my son because I won't be able to pump enough to keep up with him at a job where people don't know me. I would have been able to at church. I would have been able to make it work. They would have understood.

But most of all I hate that what appears to be true is true. That's the saddest part. That would appears to be true, probably really is true. And I know that sounds like some kind of weird riddle to most people that are reading this but that's the saddest part. Even when it looked the worst I was hoping that it was a mistake, a misunderstanding. But it's not, is it? I am having a hate day today.